Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
