dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I will be naked everywhere
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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