Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
