i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
It's blow job season.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
