Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
