I cannot find my penis.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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