last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize