I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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