I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
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