you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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