one two three fourrrrnication!
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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