shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
