The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
