i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
