More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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