Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
