Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
