Taylor Swift is so right about you.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
