I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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