Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Randomize