you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I have already put on my inside pants.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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