I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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