It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
