I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
