just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
