Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize