i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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