marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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