So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
