I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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