You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
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