I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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