My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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