I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize