I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
