dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
