I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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