matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
