so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
