Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
