we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
