me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
