Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize