I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Did you pee in the oven last night??
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
