Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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