I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
