Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
