Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
