Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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