I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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