just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
