3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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