through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
this is an emotional support booty call
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
