I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
