Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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