guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
