im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
