Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
birth control should be required to get into college
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
