So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
