I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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