We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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